Leaving but Seeing Again Quotes Drawings of the Name Gabby

Edit

[Bart returns unexpectedly later being sentenced to death]

Charlie: They said yous was hung.

Bart: And they was right.

[to ii members of the KKK, while pretending to capture Bart]

Jim: Oh, boys! Lookee what I got heyuh.

Bart: Hey, where are the white women at?

Jim: [consoling Bart, who is upset that his attempts to be cordial with the citizens of Rock Ridge led to him beingness racially insulted] What did you expect? "Welcome, sonny"? "Make yourself at domicile"? "Marry my daughter"? You've got to remember that these are but simple farmers. These are people of the land. The mutual clay of the new Due west. You lot know... morons.

Bart: [hears a crash in the prison cells] The drunkard in number two must be awake.

[walks over to the prison cell]

Bart: Are we awake?

Jim: We're not sure. Are nosotros... black?

Bart: Yep, we are.

Jim: Then nosotros're awake... just nosotros're very puzzled.

Bart: I meliorate go check out this Mongo grapheme.

[Bart reaches for his gun]

Jim: Oh no, don't practice that, don't do that. If you shoot him, you'll only make him mad.

[Bart, disguised as a Klansman, describes his qualifications as a villain]

Bart: Stampeding cattle.

Hedley Lamarr: That's not much of a crime.

Bart: Through the Vatican?

Hedley Lamarr: [grin] Kinkyyyy. Sign here.

Mexican Bandit: [a reference to THE TREASURE OF THE SIERRA MADRE] Badges...? We don't need no stinking badges!

Taggart: What do y'all want me to do, sir?

Hedley Lamarr: I want you to circular up every fell criminal and gunslinger in the west. Take this down.

[Taggart looks for a pen and paper while Hedley talks]

Hedley Lamarr: I desire rustlers, cutting throats, murderers, bounty hunters, desperados, mugs, pugs, thugs, nitwits, halfwits, dimwits, vipers, snipers, con men, Indian agents, Mexican bandits, muggers, buggerers, bushwhackers, hornswogglers, horse thieves, bull dykes, railroad train robbers, bank robbers, ass-kickers, shit-kickers and Methodists.

Taggart: [finding pen and paper] Could y'all repeat that, sir?

Hedley Lamarr: My mind is a raging torrent, flooded with rivulets of idea cascading into a waterfall of creative alternatives.

Taggart: God darnit, Mr. Lamarr, you apply your tongue prettier than a twenty dollar whore.

Bart: [on grandstand to the townspeople] Excuse me while I whip this out.

[reaches into waistline equally crowd gasps and screams; Bart pulls out paper, they sigh with relief]

Lili Von Shtupp: Would yous like some other schnitzengruben?

Bart: No, thank you. 15 is my limit on schnitzengruben.

Lili Von Shtupp: Well, and then how nigh a little...

[whispers in his ear]

Bart: Baby, please! I am non from Havana.

Lili Von Shtupp: Will I... see you once more?

Bart: Well, it all depends on how much vitamin Due east I can become my hands on.

Taggart: What in the broad, wide earth of sports is a-goin' on here? I hired you people to become a bit of track laid, non to jump around like a bunch of Kansas Metropolis faggots!

Hedley Lamarr: Sign here.

[Bart reaches for the pen... revealing his blackness hands]

Jim: [chop-chop] Why, Rhett! How many times have I told you lot to wash up after weekly cross called-for?

[licks his fingers, then rubs Bart's manus]

Jim: See, it's coming off.

[Taggart whips off Bart's hood]

Bart: And now, for my next impression... Jesse Owens.

[runs off]

Hedley Lamarr: Men, you lot are about to embark on a not bad cause to postage out delinquent decency in the due west. Now you men will only exist risking your lives, whilst I will be risking an almost certain University Award nomination for Best Supporting Actor.

Taggart: Send a wire to the main office and tell them I said...

[Bart whacks him with a shovel]

Taggart: OW!

Lyle: [writing] Ship wire, main function, tell them I said "ow". Gotcha!

Mongo: Mongo only pawn... in game of life.

Bart: What's your name?

Jim: Well, my name is Jim, but almost people telephone call me... Jim.

Bart: Well, Jim, since yous are my invitee and I am your host, what'due south your pleasure? What do you lot like to practise?

Jim: Oh, I don't know. Play chess... screw...

Bart: [chop-chop] Well, allow'south play chess.

Jim: Well, information technology got so that every piss-emmet prairie punk who thought he could shoot a gun would ride into town to try out the Waco Child. I must accept killed more men than Cecil B. DeMille. It got pretty gritty. I started to hear the word "depict" in my sleep. Then one twenty-four hour period, I was merely walking downwardly the street when I heard a voice behind me say, "Attain for it, mister!" I spun around... and in that location I was, face to face with a six-year old kid. Well, I merely threw my guns downwardly and walked away. Little bounder shot me in the ass. So I limped to the nearest saloon, crawled inside a whiskey canteen... and I've been there ever since.

[Lamarr's posse rides up on Bart's diversion: a single tollbooth in the eye of the desert]

Taggart: [1:19:44] *Le Petomane Thruway*? Now what'll that asshole recall of next?

[turns to the posse]

Taggart: Has everyone got a dime?

[henchmen grumble, search their pockets]

Taggart: Somebody'south gotta get dorsum and become a shit-load of dimes!

Bart: Sir, he specifically requested two "niggers". Well, to tell the family hush-hush, my grandmother was Dutch.

[the Johnsons load their guns and point them at Bart. Bart and so points his own pistol at his head]

Bart: [low voice] Hold information technology! Next man makes a move, the nigger gets it!

Olson Johnson: Hold information technology, men. He'southward not backbiting.

Dr. Sam Johnson: Heed to him, men. He'southward merely crazy plenty to do it!

Bart: [low vocalization] Drop it! Or I swear I'll blow this nigger's caput all over this town!

Bart: [high-pitched vocalism] Oh, lo'dy, lo'd, he'due south desp'it! Practice what he sayyyy, do what he sayyyy!

[townspeople drop their guns; Bart jams the gun into his neck and drags himself through the crowd towards the station]

Harriet Johnson: Isn't anybody going to help that poor man?

Dr. Sam Johnson: Hush, Harriet! That'due south a certain way to get him killed!

Bart: [high-pitched vocalism] Oooh! He'p me, he'p me! Somebody he'p me! He'p me! He'p me! He'p me!

Bart: [low voice] Shut upwardly!

[Bart places his hand over his own mouth, then drags himself through the door into his office]

Bart: Ooh, baby, you are so talented!

[looks into the camera]

Bart: And they are so *impaired*!

Bart: Mornin', ma'am. And isn't it a lovely mornin'?

Elderly Woman: Up yours, nigger.

Taggart: I got it! I know how we tin can run anybody out of Rock Ridge.

Hedley Lamarr: How?

Taggart: We'll kill the first born male child in every household.

Hedley Lamarr: [later on some consideration] Too Jewish.

Lili Von Shtupp: Tell me, schatze, is it twue what they say well-nigh the way you people are... gifted?

[audio of attachment opening]

Lili Von Shtupp: Oh, it's twue. It's twue. It'southward twue, it's twue!

[recalling his gunfighting career]

Jim: I must have killed more men than Cecil B. DeMille.

[Jim downs a bottle of whiskey in ane long guzzle]

Bart: [33:33] A human being drink like that and he don't eat, he is going to Dice.

Jim: [eagerly] When?

[Gabby Johnson sees the sheriff riding into town]

Gabby Johnson: Hey! The sheriff's a nig...

[clock bell chimes]

Harriet Johnson: What did he say?

Dr. Sam Johnson: He said the sheriff's virtually.

Gabby Johnson: No, gone arraign it dang blammit! The sheriff is a nig...

[clock bong chimes again]

[Taggart spots Bart and Charlie on a mitt-cart sinking into quicksand]

Taggart: Oh, shit. Quicksand!

[lassos the hand-cart and drags information technology but not the men out of the quicksand]

Taggart: Dang, that was lucky. Doggone almost lost a four hundred dollar handcar.

Hedley Lamarr: Qualifications?

Applicant: Rape, murder, arson, and rape.

Hedley Lamarr: Y'all said rape twice.

Applicant: I similar rape.

Rev. Johnson: Now I don't take to tell you lot skilful folks what's been happening in our love little town. Sheriff murdered, crops burned, stores looted, people stampeded, and cattle raped. The fourth dimension has come to deed, and act fast. I'm leaving.

[Harriet Johnson reads her alphabetic character to the Governor]

Harriet Johnson: [31:ten] To the honorable William J. Le Petomane, Governor...

Townspeople: Louder! We tin't hear you!

Harriet Johnson: I'thou non used to public speaking.

[clears her pharynx]

Harriet Johnson: WE

[everyone jumps in stupor]

Harriet Johnson: THE WHITE, GODFEARING CITIZENS OF Rock RIDGE wish to express our extreme displeasure with your choice of sheriff. Delight remove him immediately! The fact that you have sent him here just goes to prove that you lot are the leading asshole in the state!

Jim: Uh-oh, Bart. I think Mongo hither's taken a liking to y'all.

Mongo: Huh-huh, naw, Mongo directly.

Buddy Bizarre: What in the hell do yous think you're doing here? This is a closed gear up!

Taggart: Piss on y'all! I'm working for Mel Brooks!

[winds upwardly to punch Buddy]

Buddy Bizarre: Not in the face!

[Taggart punches Buddy in the breadbasket]

Buddy Bizarre: [collapsing] Thank you...

Hedley Lamarr: [to himself] A sheriff! Just police force and order is the last thing I desire. Wait a minute... possibly I could turn this thing into my reward. If I could detect a sheriff who so offends the citizens of Rock Ridge that his very appearance would drive them out of town.

[looks into the camera]

Hedley Lamarr: But where would I find such a man?

[pause]

Hedley Lamarr: Why am I asking yous?

Jim: Wait at my hand.

[raises hand and holds it level]

Bart: Steady as a rock.

Jim: [raises his other hand, which is violently trembling] Yeah, merely I shoot with this one.

Governor Lepetomane: Help me in with this. Help me in with this.

[having trouble putting his pen back into its holder]

Hedley Lamarr: Merely remember of your secretary.

[the pen goes straight in]

Governor Lepetomane: There you go. That's a very skilful suggestion. Cheers.

Hedley Lamarr: Qualifications?

Glue Chewer: [chewing glue] Arson... armed robbery... commotion...

Hedley Lamarr: Look a moment. What have you got in your mouth?

Gum Chewer: [stops chewing] Nuff'm.

Hedley Lamarr: "Nuff'chiliad", eh? Lyle!

Lyle: [searches the man's mouth] Mucilage!

Hedley Lamarr: Chewing gum on line, eh? I hope you brought enough for everybody.

Mucilage Chewer: [panicked] I didn't know there was going to be so many!

[Hedley shoots the gum chewer]

Jim: [hidden behind a rock] Boy, is he strict!

Hedley Lamarr: Repeat subsequently me: I...

Men: I...

Hedley Lamarr: ...your name...

Men: ...your name...

Hedley Lamarr: [to himself] Shmucks.

[continues aloud]

Hedley Lamarr: ...pledge allegiance...

Men: ...pledge allegiance...

Hedley Lamarr: ...to Hedley Lamarr...

Men: ...to Hedy Lamarr...

Hedley Lamarr: That's *Hedley*!

Men: That's Hedley!

Hedley Lamarr: ...and to the evil...

Men: ...and to the evil...

Hedley Lamarr: ...for which he stands.

Men: ...for which he stands.

Hedley Lamarr: At present go do... that voodoo... that *you* do... *so well*...!

[men shoot at the sky in joy and ride off]

Bart: Mongo was like shooting fish in a barrel. The bitch was inventing the candy-gram. Probably won't fifty-fifty requite me credit for information technology.

[a knock at the window; Bart gets up and sees the same woman who insulted him earlier]

Elderly Adult female: Skillful evening, Sheriff. Lamentable near the "Up yours, nigger". I hope this apple pie volition in some small mode say thanks for your ingenuity and courage in defeating that horrible Mongo.

Bart: Well, uh... give thanks you, much obliged. Good night.

[Bart closes the window and smells the pie... but returns to the window when he hears another knock]

Elderly Woman: Of course, you'll take the good gustatory modality non to mention that I spoke to yous.

Bart: Of course.

Elderly Adult female: Thank yous.

Bart: I'm rapidly becoming a big clandestine success in this town.

Jim: Meet? In some other twenty-five years, you'll be able to milkshake their hands in wide daylight.

Hedley Lamarr: If you volition just sign this, Governor. Right hither.

Governor Lepetomane: Yeah, yes. What the hell is information technology?

Hedley Lamarr: Well, under the provisions of this bill, we would snatch two hundred m acres of Indian land, which nosotros take deemed unsuitable for their use at this fourth dimension. They're such children.

Governor Lepetomane: Two hundred thousand acres? Two hundred thou acres? What'll it cost, man, what'll it cost?

Hedley Lamarr: [brings out a carton of paddleballs] A box of these.

Governor Lepetomane: Are you crazy? They'll never go for it. And so over again they might. Those picayune carmine devils... they dearest toys!

Mongo: Mongo no go. Mongo stay with Sheriff Bart. Sheriff Bart beginning man always whip Mongo. Mongo impressed. Have deep feelings for Sheriff Bart.

Olson Johnson: All right... we'll give some land to the niggers and the chinks. But nosotros don't want the Irish!

[everyone complains]

Olson Johnson: Aw, prairie shit... Everybody!

[everyone rejoices]

[while Mongo is chirapsia the hell out of a bar full of toughs, Bart walks in, dressed equally a messenger boy and carrying a box]

Bart: Candygram for Mongo! Candygram for Mongo!

Mongo: Me Mongo.

Bart: Sign, please.

[Mongo grabs the paper and makes some rough scratches on it]

Bart: Thank you.

[he gives Mongo the box and walks out of the bar, putting his fingers in his ears]

Mongo: Mongo like candy.

[he opens the box - nail!]

Olson Johnson: [afterwards Gabby Johnson'south oral communication] At present who tin argue with that? I think we're all indebted to Gabby Johnson for conspicuously stating what needed to be said. I'm particulary glad that these lovely children were hither today to hear that voice communication. Not just was it accurate frontier gibberish, information technology expressed a courage trivial seen in this solar day and historic period.

[townspeople murmur and nod in approval]

Olson Johnson: What are we fabricated of? Our fathers came across the prairies, fought Indians, fought drought, fought locusts, fought Dix... remember when Richard Dix came in here and tried to have over this town? Well, we didn't give up then, and by gum, nosotros're not going to give up now!

Lili Von Shtupp: Hello, handsome, is that a x-gallon hat or are yous just enjoying the evidence?

Howard Johnson: [reading] As chairman of the welcoming committee, information technology is my privilege to extend a Laurel - and Hardy handshake to our new...

[looks upwardly and sees Bart]

Howard Johnson: ...nigger.

Lili Von Shtupp: [singing] I've been with thousands of men/once more and once more/they promise the moon/they're always coming and going and going and coming... and always too soon.

Lili Von Shtupp: [spoken] Right, girls?

Taggart: Now what the hell do yous recall yous're doin' with that tin star, boy?

Bart: Watch that "boy" shit, redneck. Y'all talkin' to the sheriff of Rock Ridge.

Taggart: Well, now if that don't crush all. Here we accept the skilful time and problem to slaughter every last Indian in the Due west, and for what? And then they tin can engage a sheriff that's blacker'n any Indian! I am depressed.

Lyle: Excuse me, Mr. Taggart, sir, but I sure practice detest to see y'all like this. What if me and the boys was to shoot that nigger dead? Would that pep you lot upward some?

Taggart: That might help.

Lyle: All right, boys! On the count of three!

Jim: I wouldn't do that if I were y'all.

Lyle: Don't pay no attention to that alkie. He can't even concur a gun, much less shoot it.

[Jim blows on his fingertips]

Lyle: Like I said, on the count of iii. One... two... three!

[Jim draws. The cowboys' guns are suddenly shot of their hands in quick succession. Cut dorsum to Jim, his arms folded, smoke pouring from his holsters]

Bart: Well, don't just sit there lookin' stupid, graspin' your hands in hurting. How 'bout a piddling...

[he draws his own gun]

Bart: ... adulation for the Waco Child?

[dumbfounded, Taggart and his men commencement clapping]

Jim: [to Bart] What's a dazzling urbanite like you doing in a rustic setting like this?

Gabby Johnson: I wash born here, an I wash raished here, and dad gum it, I am gonna die here, an no sidewindin' bushwackin', hornswagglin' cracker croaker is gonna rouin me bishen cutter.

Taggart: [five:18] Heed, dummy. The surveyors say they may have encounter some quicksand up ahead. Better check information technology out.

Lyle: Okay, I'll send down a team of horses to check out the footing.

Taggart: *Horses*?

[hits Lyle'south head]

Taggart: We can't beget to lose any horses, you lot dummy! Transport over a couple of niggers.

Buddy Bizarre: [yells into the ear of an actor] *Wrong!*

[hits the player in the caput]

Buddy Bizarre: Picket me! It'southward so simple! Give me the playback! Watch me, faggots!

Taggart: I got information technology! I got it!

Hedley Lamarr: You do?

Taggart: We'll work upward a Number 6 on 'em.

Hedley Lamarr: [frowns] "Number 6"? I'm afraid I'm not familiar with that one.

Taggart: Well, that'south where we go a-ridin' into town, a-whompin' and a-whumpin' every livin' thing that moves within an inch of its life. Except the women folks, of course.

Hedley Lamarr: You spare the women?

Taggart: Naw, we rape the shit out of them at the Number Half dozen Dance later.

Hedley Lamarr: Marvelous!

Dancer: They hit Buddy! Come up on, girls!

Lyle: At present, come up on, boys! Where's your spirit? I don't hear no singin'. When you was slaves, y'all sang like birds. Go on, how 'bout a good ol' nigger work song?

Bart: [singing] I become no kick from champagne, Mere alcohol doesn't thrill me at all, So, tell me why should information technology be truthful, That I get a belt out of you lot...

Lyle: [railroad workers are singing "I Get A Kick Out of You"] Hold it! Hold information technology! Hold it! What the hell is that shit? I meant a vocal. A real song. something like

[singing]

Lyle: Swing Depression/ Sweetness Chaaaariooooot

[workers look confused]

Lyle: Don't know that 1, huh?

Charlie: [every bit their handcart begins to sink] Bart?

Bart: Yep?

Charlie: Am I wrong? Or is the world... rising?

Bart: I don't know. Merely whatsoever it is, I hate information technology.

[men slowly sink down offscreen]

Bart: Hey, Charlie? Allow me ask you something: what is it that's not exactly h2o and it ain't exactly globe?

Charlie,Bart: Quicksand!

Bart: Merely requite me 24-hour interval to come up with a brilliant idea to relieve our town. Just twenty-4 hours, that's all I enquire.

Townspeople: [in unison] No!

Bart: Y'all'd practice it for Randolph Scott.

Townspeople: [reverently] Randolph Scott...

Townspeople: [singing in the way of a church building choir] *Randolph Scott!*

Howard Johnson: All right, Sheriff. Xx-four hours.

Bart: [watching Mongo's rampage] I don't know what it is.

[Van Johnson bursts into the office]

Van Johnson: Sheriff! Mongo's back! He'due south...

[realizes Bart is on the contrary side of the room, and turns around]

Van Johnson: Sheriff! Mongo's back! He'due south breaking up the whole boondocks! Yous've got to assistance united states, please!

Bart: Did y'all hear that? Now it'south "please". This forenoon, I couldn't get the time of day. Who is this Mongo, anyway?

Jim: Well, Mongo ain't exactly a "who". He'south more of a "what".

Van Johnson: What he said.

Bart: Well, at present, I don't know...

Van Johnson: Oh, cheers, Sheriff! Oh, thanks very much! Thanks!

[runs to the door and flings information technology open]

Van Johnson: [shouting] The fool's going to... I mean, the sheriff'south going to do it!

[last lines]

Jim: [who still has his popcorn and soda from the Chinese Theater] Where you headed, cowboy?

Bart: Nowhere special.

Jim: Nowhere special? I e'er wanted to get there.

Bart: Come on.

[Jim mounts upwards and they ride off into the sunset... in a limousine!]

Lili Von Shtupp: [singing] Here I stand up, the goddess of desire / Set up men on burn / I have this power. / Morning, noon, and night, information technology'southward dwink and dancing / Some quick womancing / And then a shower. / Stage door Johnnies constantly suwwound me / They always hound me, with ane wequest. / Who can satisfy their lustful habits? / I'm not a wabbit. / I need some we...

[Takes a breath]

Lili Von Shtupp: ... est.

Taggart: [shouting] We'll head them off at the pass!

Hedley Lamarr: Head them off at the laissez passer? I hate that platitude!

[shoots his pes]

Buddy Bizarre: [later on the rehersal] Everybody got that?

[the actors respond with a heavily lisping "yethhhh"]

Buddy Bizarre: Sounds similar steam escaping.

Bart: Well, can't you run across that's the last act of a desperate human being?

Howard Johnson: We don't care if it's the first human activity of "Henry V," we're leaving!

[as the townspeople point guns at Bart, the newly arrived sheriff]

Rev. Johnson: Gentlemen, gentlemen! Let us not allow anger to dominion the day.

[holds up his Bible]

Rev. Johnson: As your spiritual leader, I implore you -- Pay heed to this skilful volume, and what it has to say!

[townspeople shoot the Bible, blowing it apart]

Rev. Johnson: [to Bart] Son, y'all're on your own.

Hedley Lamarr: Look a minute... at that place might exist legal precedent. Of course! Land-snatching!

[grabs a constabulary book]

Hedley Lamarr: Land, land... "Land: run across Snatch."

[flips back several pages]

Hedley Lamarr: Ah, Haley vs. United States. Haley: seven, United states: zero. You run into, information technology can exist done!

Governor Lepetomane: What the hell is this?

Hedley Lamarr: This is the beak that volition convert the state hospital for the insane into the William J. Le Petomane memorial gambling casino for the insane.

Governor Lepetomane: [continuing upwardly proudly] Gentlemen, this bill volition be a giant step forrard in the treatment of the insane gambler.

Buddy's Singers: [singing] Throw up your hands/Stick out your tush/Easily on your hips/Requite 'em a push button/You'll be surprised, you lot're doing the French Mistake/Voila!

Church Congregation: [singing] At present is a time of great decision / Are we to stay or upward and quit? / There's no avoiding this conclusion / Our town is turning into shit.

Hedley Lamarr: Unfortunately at that place is one thing standing between me and that holding: the rightful owners.

Buddy Bizarre: [stomps in time to music on each word] Watch me, faggots!

Townsman: [being dragged through the street] Well, that's the end of this adjust.

Olson Johnson: [in the bar discussing Pasteur'south possible cure] Never mind that shit! Here comes Mongo!

Hedley Lamarr: [hurrying through the movie theater, he stops at the concession stand] Raisinets!

Hedley Lamarr: [at the theater, cuts in forepart of a hippie] You dropped your beads.

Hedley Lamarr: [to the cashier] I, delight. Uhh... student?

Theater Cashier: Are you kidding?

Hedley Lamarr: [grumbling as he takes his ticket] Pain in the ass!

Bart: [Bart dresses himself every bit a carnival barker and stands abreast a wishing-well] ... Step right up, ladies and gentlemen and... Mongos! Dive, dive, dive for buried treasure! This is the verbal spot where the Castilian Fleet was sunk past the British Navy, leaving millions and millions of Spanish Dubloons at the lesser of the body of water!

[Think, they're in the middle of the desert, on America's Western Frontier!]

Mongo: Spanish balloons? Mongo take chance...!

[and, after suiting up]

Mongo: ... How Mongo get air?

Bart: From this wonderful antique pump. Skilful hunting!

[and, once Mongo climbs to the lesser of the well]

Bart: ... Fourth dimension for my luncheon break.

[He lowers a sign to Mongo which reads "For more than air, eolith $.25"]

Bart: Perchance you know why a high-roller like Hedley Lamarr is interested in Rock Ridge.

Mongo: Don't know. Got to do with where choo-choo become.

Bart: Mongo, why would Hedley Lamarr care about where the choo-choo goes?

Mongo: Don't know. Mongo but pawn in game of life.

Rev. Johnson: [praying] O Lord, practice we accept the forcefulness to acquit off this mighty task in one night? Or are we just jerking off?

Townspeople: Amen.

Elderly Adult female: [looks to photographic camera every bit she is beaten by two thugs] Accept y'all ever seen such cruelty?

Hedley Lamarr: [sitting in a chimera bath] Where's my froggy? Where's my froggy!

Taggart: I don't know. I didn't run across him wanna come in.

Hedley Lamarr: Well, await, damn your optics! Look for information technology.

[Taggart plunges his hand in Hedley's bubble bath]

Hedley Lamarr: Taggart.

Taggart: Sad sir.

[Bart is bidding farewell to the people of Stone Ridge]

Bart: Piece of work hither is done. I'm needed elsewhere now. I'm needed wherever outlaws rule the West, wherever innocent women and children are afraid to walk the streets, wherever a human cannot alive in simple dignity, wherever a people cry out for justice.

Crowd: [in unison] *Bullshit!*

Bart: All right, you caught me. To speak the plain truth, it's getting pretty damn ho-hum around hither.

Jim: I'd better sit upward.

[struggles to straighten himself]

Bart: Need any help?

Jim: Oh... all I can become.

Bart: Checkmate.

Jim: What?

Bart: Checkmate.

Jim: Why, you stray son of a bitch.

[picking up his whiskey canteen]

Jim: Happy days.

Hedley Lamarr: Alright, I'm through existence Mr. Goodbar, the time has come up to act and deed quickly.

Hedley Lamarr: [dying words, while looking downward at Douglas Fairbanks' panel in the Grauman Chinese Theater forecourt] How did he do such fantastic stunts with such little feet?

Lyle: [after the farting] How 'bout some more beans, Mr. Taggart?

Taggart: [fans his lid in the air] I'd say you've had plenty!

Townspeople: The town saloon was ever lively / But never nasty or obscene / Behind the bar stood Anal Johnson / He always kept things prissy and clean

[Anal Johnson is standing behind the bar washing a beer mug; he spits into the mug, belches, and continues to wipe the mug]

[Hedley arrives at Grauman'southward Chinese Theater]

Tourist Mother: [to her husband] Look, Irv. I'thou in Hedy Lamarr'southward shoes.

Hedley Lamarr: [correcting her as he runs by them] HEDLEY.

Lili Von Shtupp: Vhy don't yous admit it? He's too much of human for yous. I know. Yous're going to need an army to trounce him! Yous're finished. Fertig! Verfallen! Verlumpt! Verblunget! Verkackt!

Governor Lepetomane: Holy underwear! Sheriff murdered! Innocent women and children blown to bits! Nosotros take to protect our phoney baloney jobs hither, gentlemen! We must do something almost this immediately! Immediately! Immediately! Harrumph! Harrumph! Harrumph!

Buddy Bizarre: Activity! Oh, await till I get out! Await till I become out!

[afterwards meeting black pioneers]

Indian Chief: [speaks Yiddish, then German, then in English] They darker than us! Woof!

Hedley Lamarr: Lili. Lili, Lili, Lili, legs, Lili, Lili... I cannot finds the words to truly limited my joy at the rekindling of our clan.

Lili Von Shtupp: Bullshit. What's the job?

Hedley Lamarr: I love information technology when yous talk dirty.

Bart: Well, raise my rent. You *are* The Kid.

[subsequently Taggart comes crashing through the commissary with food splattered all over him]

Cashier: Yankee edible bean soup, coleslaw, and tuna surprise.

[rings up register]

Bart: Hey, maybe you lot should eat somethin' start.

Jim: No thanks, food makes me sick.

Boris: Oh... Not to worry. All are equal in my eye.

Vocalist: "Blazing Saddles": [singing] He rode a blazing saddle. / He wore a shining star. / His job to offer battle / To bad men nigh and far.

Singer: "Blazing Saddles": He conquered fright and he conquered hate. / He turned our dark into twenty-four hours. / He fabricated his blazing saddle / A torch to light the mode.

Singer: "Blazing Saddles": When outlaws ruled the W / And fear filled the land / A cry went upward for a man with guts / To have the West in paw.

Singer: "Blazing Saddles": They needed a human who was brave and truthful / With justice for all as his aim. / Then out of the sun rode a human being with a gun / And Bart was his name, yes Bart was his proper noun.

Vocalist: "Blazing Saddles": He rode a blazing saddle. / He wore a shining star. / His job to offer boxing / To bad men near and far.

Vocalist: "Blazing Saddles": He conquered fright and he conquered hate. / He turned our night into solar day. / He fabricated his blazing saddle / A torch to light the manner.

[first lines]

Lyle: Come up on, boys! The way you're lollygaggin' effectually here with them picks and them shovels, you'd call up it was a hundert an' twenty degree. Can't exist more than a hundert an' xiv.

[Jim the Waco Kid has just shot the guns out of the easily of a dozen henchmen]

Bart: Well, don't just stand at that place looking stupid, grasping your hands in pain. How about a round of applause for The Waco Kid?

Jim: [Bart comes in subsequently spending the dark with Lili Von Stupp] Oh deary beloved. Look what the cat dragged in.

Bart: Well, once I constitute myself in this here town, Deputy Spade might turn out to be a nifty position.

Hedley Lamarr: What a minute, that's it! Of course. And it'll work!

Taggart: You lot bet information technology will. What'll work?

Hedley Lamarr: Unproblematic, Cactus-head. The beast has failed. And when the beast fails, information technology's fourth dimension to call in: beauty.

Taggart: Dazzler?

Hedley Lamarr: Yeah, of form. She's never failed me before. She'll turn him into jelly! She'll bring him to his knees.

Lili Von Shtupp: [singing] Who tin satisfy their lustful habits? I'1000 not a rabbit! I need some residuum. I'yard tired, Ill and tired of love, I've had my fill of love, From below and above. Tired, Tired of being admired, Tired of honey uninspired, Let's face it, I'one thousand tired!

Lili Von Shtupp: [singing] I've been with thousands of men, Again and again, They sing the same melody, They start with Byron and Shelley, Then jump on your belly, And bust your balloons!

Jim: Well, what exercise y'all wanna do at present?

Bart: Come up on, let's check out the terminate of the picture show.

Jim: Yep. Gee, I sure hope at that place's a happy ending. I love a happy ending!

Hedley Lamarr: Taggart, you've been hurt.

Taggart: Oh, that uppity north***** went and hit me on the caput with a shovel! I'd shore appreciate it, sir, if yous could find it in your centre to hang him up by his neck until he was expressionless. Got him locked up downstairs.

Hedley Lamarr: Consider it done.

Buddy Baroque: [a fight scene has spilled over into Buddy's musical number] CUT! What the hell are you all doing here? This is a CLOSED SET!

Taggart: Piss on you, I work for Mel Brooks!

[Go ready to hit Buddy]

Buddy Baroque: Not in the face!

[Taggart hits him in the tum]

Buddy Bizarre: Thank yous!

Taggart: [7:22] Well that was lucky! Doggone near lost a $400 handcart!

Howard Johnson: [46:08] They say that now, in Paris, France, even every bit we speak, Louis Pasteur has devised a new vaccine that will obliterate Anthrax once and for all. Call up of it, gentlemen, hoof and oral fissure disease a matter of the past

Olson Johnson: Never mind that shit! Here comes Mongo!

Bart: [Mongo walks downwards the street past a mannequin-like, penny-arcade-style "gunslinger" - Bart's voice is distorted and seems to be coming from the penny-arcade machine] I'grand the marshal in this here town, and you're nothin' but a big fatty ferret.

[Mongo starts to pull his gun on the offending "marshal"]

Bart: Concord it! If you wanna describe on me, put a quarter in the machine.

[Mongo deposits a quarter in the appropriate slot]

Bart: Ready? Now draw on the count of three. One, ii...

[Mongo is nigh to describe when the "marshal" falls away to reveal a cannon, which blasts Mongo in the face - nosotros tin can at present come across that Bart has been throwing his vocalization with a bullhorn]

Bart: ... 3.

Howard Johnson: Recollect of information technology, gentlemen. Hoof and mouth disease a thing of the past.

Olson Johnson: Never listen that shit! Here comes Mongo!

Bart: Now, I suppose you're all wondering just what in the heck you're doing out here in the middle of a prairie in the middle of nowhere in the centre of the night.

Oversupply: You bet your ass!

Bart: I'thou hip.

Taggart: Don't you worry. Why we'll make Rock Ridge think its a chicken that got caught in a tractor'southward nuts.

Hedley Lamarr: Splendid!

Governor Lepetomane: Work, piece of work, work, Work, piece of work, piece of work. Work, work, work.

[turns, leans in and stares into Miss Stein's bountiful bosoms]

Governor Lepetomane: How-do-you-do, boys. Have a good dark's rest? I missed you!

Taggart: [to Bart and Charlie struggling to become out of the quicksand] Well, boys, the intermission's over. Don't but lay there gettin' a suntan. It ain't gonna do you no good no how.

Taggart: I understand at that place's a new sheriff in town. Who wants to kill him?

[Headley opens his office window to speak to the hunchbacked hangman Boris outside]

Hedley Lamarr: Boris! Nosotros can't hear ourselves call up!

Boris: Sorry, your Worship, but I've got two men home sick with the flu... and it's utter chaos downwardly here. I'll try to keep it equally quiet as possible.

[Boris gestures to a human in a wheelchair]

Boris: But as yous can see... this one is a doozey.

Hedley Lamarr: Yes, the Doc Gillespie killings.

Contribute to This Page

dowlingquainged37.blogspot.com

Source: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0071230/quotes/qt0371733

Share this post